Oh, Christmas Tree!

When Dan and I first moved in together, and I got to decorate my own Christmas tree for the first time, I was so excited! I went to Target and picked out all different shades of blue and silver balls, lots of snowflakes and crystal garland. I bought only white lights. MY tree was going to be pretty, minimally decorated and most importantly color-coordinated. No tacky ornaments for my tree!

You see, I had always thought the tree at my parent's house was over-trimmed and the colored lights were tacky. (Sorry, Mom! Please keep reading!)

I kept my tree "perfect" for a couple of years. Then, people started buying me ornaments. (As people do when you have your own home and Christmas tree.) Was I really not going to put on the Hallmark ornament my mom gave me when we bought our first house? What about the White House ornaments my mother-in-law buys for all the woman in her family every year? And the ones my sentimental husband bought me to mark various phases in our relationship?

So, I put them on. Reluctantly, but I did it.

Then we had Abby and along came the "baby's first Christmas" ornaments. I was slowly caving, as Abby gave her Daddy a new ornament every year. This year? My tree is a smorgasbord of ornaments. But, Abby and I decorated the tree together this year (my goodness, is it harder to decorate when you have a 3 year old who wants to help!) and she always loves to ask "who buy me this?" or "where you buy this mommy?." It was nice to be able to tell her the story behind that house ornament, all the White House ornaments, her baby ornaments and whatever else we pulled out of the box.

Then, as we were almost finished decorating, I came across the ornament she bought Daddy last year. It's two polar bears (a Daddy and a baby) playing, and when you pushed the button on the back, you hear "Merry Christmas, Daddy!" in that sweet two year old voice that is no longer there.

As I put that last ornament on the tree, I did it with tears in my eyes.

Now, I get it. Gone is the "perfect" minimalist tree. Instead, I have a new "perfect"* filled with memories.

*Though, it still is pretty color-coordinated. (And, now I don't see Mom's tree as over-stuffed. Just filled with a lot more stories. But, I still think the colored lights are tacky. Sorry!)