My BIG boy

Austin had his four month check this morning, and he's big and healthy.

Height: 26 in (80th percentile)
Weight: 20 lbs (100th+ percentile)
Head: 43 1/4 cm (75th percentile)

Yep, you read that right. My FOUR month old is TWENTY pounds!!

Usually they recommend waiting until closer to 6 months before starting a breastfed baby on food, but they told me I needed to feed my boy some rice cereal. I cried.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to start the next step, but it is also the first step in my little boy not relying solely on me for food. Yes, I know this is crazy and that we'll still be nursing for quite some time, but sniff.

So, rice cereal it is. We'll start Monday so we can use it for his weekly picture. I'm trying to look at the bright side and am hoping this will solve his night wakings. He was such a good sleeper, but has been waking every four hours STARVING for the last few weeks.

Excuse me, I need to go cry in a corner.

Go, Caroline, Go!

I really didn't want to go to the gym this morning, but I had set some goals for myself so I went. For the first time in my short exercising history, I actually felt good when I finished. Not just sweaty and gross (though i was certainly both of those), but good in a "go, me!" kinda way.

Wow. So this is why people do this!

Anyway, about those goals. I know I've talked about my love/hate relationship with the exercising before, but I don't think I've actually said just how little exercise I've done in my life. In my 30 years of life, I have never run a mile. I haven't even gotten close.

I was the queen of excuses in school and faked many a twisted ankle to get out of running the mile. The one time a teacher told me I HAD to run it in under 12 minutes, I walked it in "11 min, 59 seconds." However, I'm pretty sure that was just what she told me.

When I was pregnant with Austin, I told myself I was actually going to run. I've always wanted to be the kind of person who could just "go out for a run," and I was going to try and do it. So, I told myself I'd run 1 mile by the time we got back from Disney and a 5k by the time Austin turned 1.

We leave for Disney March 6th, so my deadline is fast approaching. The most I've run so far is 4, 4 minutes intervals with 2 minutes of walking in between. That was today. I'll keep you posted on my progress!

Austin: 4 months

Austin,

Four months! And what a fun month it has been. You're personality is really starting to come through, and you are such a sweet little boy.

Your latest trick is giving "snuggles." If I'm holding you up on my shoulder and ask for "snuggles," you instantly wrap one arm around my shoulder, one arm around my neck and nuzzle in. Usually, this hug is followed by a big, wet, sloppy baby kiss and a big beautiful smile.

It is AWESOME.

You've also started talking a lot more and are using your voice to get our attention, not just making random sounds. We've had a lot of interesting and long conversations lately, even though I have no idea what you're trying to tell me.

As this month has gone on, you're getting closer and closer to rolling over. When on your stomach, you can now scoot in a circle and have tried really hard to roll. So far, you can throw your arms over or kick your legs over, but you can't seem to do both at the same time. Hopefully, you'll figure it out any day now.

Speaking of moving, you've learned how to scoot around in your crib. While you used to be an amazing sleeper at night, this new moving skill has you waking up every four hours. Several times, I've gone into your room to find you with your legs hanging out of the crib and your miracle blanket totally undone. I ordered you a bigger swaddling blanket, so hopefully this will help contain you and we can both go back to sleeping through the night.


On one more developmental note, you have mastered the very useful skill of putting things in your mouth. Whenever we give you a toy, or even our finger, it goes immediately in your mouth for a big chomp! Your Dad thinks I'm jumping the gun, but this combined with the drooling (oh, the drool!) and your constantly red cheeks, makes me think you might be working on some teeth. So far, this doesn't seem to bother you too much, but you have cried out a few times after biting down on something. Thankfully, all you really need is a hug for comfort and an occasional dose of Tylenol.

You are a ton of fun, and I love you so much! I can't wait to see what each new day holds!

Love,
Mommy

PS- Though the doctor says your eyes can still change until 9 months (thus I will keep up the updates), they are a very blue and look a lot like mine did when I was younger. That, combined with the fair skin and the blond hair coming in, makes me think you'll have my coloring and the blue eyes will stick around for good!

I was wrong.

If you read this blog or are friends with me on facebook, chances are you've seen me hem and haw over my cellphone. I was very sick of my blackberry and had great phone envy of all those around me with new phones. Particularly, I was envious of those with Droids. Every time my blackberry acted up (which was often) I was hopeful that I'd be forced to buy a new phone.

Several times, I priced out the droid X and almost bought it. The verizon iphone rumors were surfacing again, but I was impatient. I told Dan I wasn't sure if I'd buy an iphone or a droid. He told me I was crazy.

Even when the announcement came that the verizon iphone would be available and we were able to upgrade a mere 2 days after, I was still unsure.

Boy was I wrong.

It's been 2 days, and I am totally obsessed with my iphone. I am LOVING it! I could go on for a while, but the best thing so far is that Abby is able to talk to Grandma on facetime. She* thought it was so cool to be able to see her as she was talking (even if she was a little confused about it).

I haven't downloaded a ton of apps yet, just the basics, but I'm sure I will. I'm happy to take suggestions!

So, to make my husband happy, I'll say it again: I was so wrong to question the iphone.

* by "she" i could be talking about either Abby or my mom.

The beginning of the end of naptime.

Currently, "quiet time" is going on upstairs in Abby's room. There is singing, jumping, talking, and a lot of thuds. Basically, it is NOT QUIET. I told her if she wasn't going to nap, she had to play quietly in her room for 1 1/2 hours.

Meanwhile, I am downstairs having a quiet panic attack. OMG, OMG, OMG! DO NOT STOP NAPPING! I CANNOT HANDLE THIS! I'M NOT READY!!!!!!

Sigh.

She turned 3 in November. She's the only one of her friends left that still takes a nap. I know it's going to end soon, I just don't want it to be yet. What the heck are we going to do all day?

I can enforce the quiet time, she's pretty good about playing by herself in her room. But, I'm used to her taking 2-3 hour naps every day. How am I going to adjust to just 1 hour of "quiet" time?!?

Yes, I realize I am lucky. I know plenty of kids who won't play in their rooms and moms who don't get any sort of break. But, ugh. I guess I should just look at this as another stage we're passing?

Hopefully today is just a fluke. She has ballet tomorrow, so a nap will probably (fingers crossed!) happen. However, today is just the beginning of the end.

ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Writer's Block

So, I've had a little bit of writers block lately.

There's been plenty of things I've wanted to write about (Abby's ballet recital, Austin's sudden jump into 9 month clothes, etc.) but every time I pull out the computer, I stop. I've even written whole posts and then deleted them. Part of the problem is that I set out to write not just to update family and friends on the kids, but to use this as an outlet for my various thoughts on life. In doing so, I told myself I wouldn't hold back. But, that's exactly what I felt like I was doing. I felt like posting mundane life updates wouldn't be telling the whole truth.

So here's the truth: I've been suffering from postpartum depression.

I probably should say "a little" postpartum depression, as the issue hasn't been that huge. However, I'm currently on some antidepressants and seeing a therapist to get myself out of this mess. I know I'm not alone here. I've had a ton of support from my family and close friends (both new and old) and have been grateful to listen to other people's tales. Things are actually starting to look up a little bit, and I'm beginning to feel a little more like myself.

While I'm not ready to write about the whole experience and talk about what I've been going through, I will. I just have to get to the other side first. I'm hoping by at least putting this little bit out there, I can begin to write about the other (much more upbeat!) things going on in my life. Writing this blog has become something I really enjoy and I would love to get back to it. (Besides I wouldn't want to keep my 10's of followers in the dark :) )